How To Know Someone As Soon As Possible

Tamara Lackey —  November 5, 2012

I recently had the great privilege/terror of speaking at Photographer’s Ignite. Again. I did this for the first time in 2011, when I spoke on the tiny topic of The Meaning of Life (when I barely had my voice left after a week of teaching in Vegas) and then I did it a second time this past Spring, again in Las Vegas, when I weighed in on The Fascinating Truth About Lying.

As much as I speak publicly with little issue, there is something about this format, this 5-minute-exactly, slides-will-move-forward-no-matter-what, memorized format that is just a bit breathtaking.

Like, omgicannotbreathe.

Long, complicated story short, I actually had very little time to come up with a presentation this time, so I decided to simply speak about something I feel rather passionately about, “How to Know Someone in Under 5 Minutes”.  It was possibly a bit of a mixed title, as I was speaking on how to know someone, anyone – the one thing to look for – and I had 5 minutes to present it. So I just crammed all that together as a title and crossed my fingers.

This Photographer’s Ignite was also going to be broadcast live, via creativeLIVE, which was new – aaaand I had to go first. Aaack. Warmer Upper. A whole new kind of nerves.

Once I started really thinking about what I wrote (see below), which is what I care about a great deal, everything kinda just fell into place.

Sidenote: Definitely check out the Photographer’s Ignite page for all the other great 5-minute talks given that evening – there were 12 of us altogether, many delivering seriously great talks.

Sidenote II: Crazily enough, the online audience for this wasn’t small. #IgniteLIVE actually ended up trending #1 globally on twitter that night. Bejeebus craziness. Of course I’m very glad I didn’t know that when I got up to speak.

This is was my talk:

 

____

 

Good to see many of you I know.
And also many of you I don’t know
but will hopefully get to meet, where we’ll exchange factual, identifying information …
name, what we do, where we’re from, BLAH.

And during that experience, I will have the opportunity to either genuinely try to know you
or slip into autopilot and do a quick snap assessment.
With very little need for further identifying information.

You will have the same choice I had -
that is, of course, if meeting me even REGISTERS with you at all.
There are a lot of people and experiences vying for your attention.
And you don’t have a lot of time or a lot of mental bandwidth, either.

So, we have been trained, you and I,
to make snap assessments.

We have been trained to judge in this world.

And, if comments on YouTube are any indication,
we’re actually trained to judge rather harshly.

We meet people and as a way of “knowing” them,
we hold them against this standard of constant perfection
that WE haven’t even reached.

And it’s pretty simple to know someone whose truth doesn’t match yours, right?
He votes for so & so?
He prays to so & so?
… yeah, that’s enough.
I know what I need to know.

Or we hear something about someone and
omgah, how could she DO something like that?
That thing I just learned about her.
(Or read on facebook).

Without knowing the entire story, I WOULD NEVER.
Even as I HAVE NEVER been in the situation she’s in
or faced exactly what’s she facing.

It’s as if we look at people
and often take measure of their shortcomings first.

We focus on what they get wrong.
What they do wrong,
what they say wrong.

It’s like all these reality TV shows have finally sunk into our brains
and we think that WE are all the judging panel.

We’re all Randy, from American Idol, cocking our heads at people,
meeting them and saying … yeahhh, I dunno …
she seems pitchy

But
But.
(And this is when it gets SO GOOD).

We lift that camera to our face, we look through the lens, and our job
- like, nearly OUR WHOLE JOB at that point -
is to look for beauty.
To find something of impact.
To look for something compelling, emotional.
Some connection.

And we do.
Time and time again we do.

We know what the job is,
and we do it so well.

We have galleries and portfolios and museums and websites and libraries and books and films and songs and hard drives
FULL of the beauty we found in people we had never met before.

So why should that change when we put the camera down?
It wasn’t the gear that saw all that in other people.

We GET to meet people every day.

And the truth about people is that there’s a light in them.
There really is.
That’s the miracle of the human spirit.
(And I don’t use that word a lot)
but the MIRACLE is
that it truly exists within all of us.

For some it shines.
It is easy to see.
They are working every day to TURN IT UP.
Passionately. Profoundly.
They are the bringers of light.

For others, yeah – i know what some of you may be thinking…
you must not have MET some of the bleepers I know.

Well, I’ll tell you, I have met and gotten to know MANY, MANY people
through my travels,
through my work,
through my experience of living in a suburb.

And I tell you, I have met YOUR bleepers.
I have spent time with YOUR bleepers.

…And I hear you in that it’s not always so apparent,
this spark in the human spirit.

For some it may simply have dimmed with
fatigue,
relentless routine,
pain.

Especially with those sharpest of hurts,
the ones that hit us so hard
it makes everything around us (ourselves included),
GO and STAY rather dim.

BUT we are born shiny little things.
And we RADIATE as children.

We are not meant to
just give this up,
or grow out of it,
or have it ground out of us.

Sometimes all we need to
RE-IGNITE US
is just one person,
one SINGLE SOLITARY SOUL to look at us long enough to see it
… to say, “Nah, that’s not all there is to you.”

You want to know someone as soon as possible?

Put down the camera
and do what it is that artists are trained to do.

LOOK FOR THE LIGHT.

 

— 18 Comments

Share Your Thoughts Below…

18 responses to How To Know Someone As Soon As Possible

  1. Damn… That was good. Really really good. Thank you for that….

  2. Tamara,
    ^^THIS is why I “follow” you. You inspire me beyond photography. Here is what I gathered from what you said: when the camera is simply a tool and the goal is humanity; people become even more beautiful. Thanks Tamara!

  3. You continuously blow me away, Tamara. Thank you.

  4. Wow, this was beautiful and poignant. I was in tears and covered in goosebumps reading the last 3 lines. So beautifully said, Tamara.

  5. Overwhelmed by emotions! Love this :)

  6. Eloquently spoken….as always. Thanks Tamara

  7. You were lovely as always Tamara. It’s always fantastic to see you. Hopefully next time I can actually figure out where everyone is going for the after party. I know how exhausted you were. Thanks again for everything and GREAT JOB! -mM

  8. Hi Tamara,
    I caught this on the re-watch last week … loved the whole segment of what you talked about. When you got to the end, these lines made me cry:
    “Put down the camera
    and do what it is that artists are trained to do.

    LOOK FOR THE LIGHT.”

    You nailed it. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!

    Stacy

  9. Awesome – thank you for sharing that!!!

  10. I love this more each time I see it …we all need this reminder (or introduction for some) to look freshly at the people around us. Heck, I need the reminder to look freshly at myself!
    Thank you – Tamara – for having the courage to do this ignite …I think it’s the most powerful one you have delivered :)

  11. Thanks Tamara. You’re always inspiring!

  12. thanks for sharing your thoughts, very inspiring. I am often reminded that what we give to people we get back. The smile and energy we generate is returned.

  13. WOW ! you totally speak to me, what you say, how you are , the books i read, the programs i have watched (BTW, i thought i invented the ‘drink cup tray’-mine was a laminated drink cup chart, i had one for overnight guests too – until i saw it on your show and i almost FELL my exercise ball …. i have four kids and OMGoodness my little chart made such a difference in my busy little world ) BUT that little five minute talk WAS AMAZING and beautiful and so full of awesomeness ! total, total goosebumps ! THANK YOU < THANK YOU for everything, you are guiding me along my journey to get me to where i want to be with my photography !

  14. ‘look for the light’ – beautiful… i love that!

  15. I LOVED your presentation on Creativelive, it really touched me, thank you.

  16. Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform
    you’re using? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m having a difficult time deciding between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking
    for something completely unique. P.
    S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  17. Many thanks for using time in order to write “How To Know Someone As Soon As
    Possible | Tamara Lackey Blog”. Thank you once again ,Selena

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  1. Seeing your light - February 8, 2013

    [...] for beauty. Whether the subject is a beautiful sunset, a new rose bud or a person, as photographer Tamara Lackey says there’s a light in them. I love that! It’s so [...]

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